The Secret to Being Happy

June 14, 2008

One of the biggest problems today is that too many people are not happy.

We look for external stimuli to make us happy. We expect our significant other to make us happy and divorce him when he doesn’t. We expect our children to fulfill our dreams for them and are disappointed in them when they do not. We expect money to solve all our problems and make us happy, then, we can’t understand why it doesn’t once we have it.

How many times have you heard someone say, “I will be happy when…”?

I will be happy, when I start making more money in my business.

I will be happy, once I am married.

I will be happy, when I get a promotion.

I will be happy, when my children are grown and I have more time for myself.

Pages and pages of examples could be given.

Another way to view this statement is, “I will do this, when that happens.” Have you ever made that type of statement? I hear people say it all the time. You are making your happiness contingent upon an external event.

Happiness is not an external thing. Even once you have something external, the happiness it brings you is short-lived. For example:

You have waited for that special relationship. The significant other is great, but you still have a negative attitude. You were happy during the initial stages, but now it seems routine.

You have always known that a promotion would get that new home for which you and your spouse have been waiting. You got the promotion, the money is great, and you buy that home. After the beginning excitement wears off, things go back to the same routine, just in a different house. Your happiness falls back to your previous feeling before the promotion.

You and your spouse know that you will be happy, once the children are grown. You will not have to work so hard to provide for the family, and you will have more time to enjoy your relationship and home. Well, the children have grown, but they can’t afford to live on their own. All three children are still living at home…for free!

Look at all the time in the examples above that people wasted not being happy! Then, when they got what they were waiting for, the happiness was fleeting. Again, it’s because happiness cannot be gained from anything external.

THE SECRET TO BEING HAPPY

It’s incredible how many books have been written on the topic of being happy. Yet, so many people are not. Do they not read the books? There are people who read such books all the time and are still not happy.

With so many unhappy people in the world, being happy must be an extremely difficult thing to achieve.

Haven’t you known or met that person who always has a great smile on their face, a smile in their voice, and a skip in their step? You want that too…don’t you?

So what is the secret to finding happiness?

Believe it or not, the secret is known!

It is easy to do - no complicated actions.

It is quick to do - no long-term procedures.

You can do it anywhere - no special requirements or equipment are needed.

Anyone can do it!

The secret?

Determine yourself to be happy!   That’s right, happiness is a simply a choice.  And the good news is, you are the one who gets to decide.

It’s an internal process.

True happiness that lasts is an internal process. Nothing from outside you can make you happy or unhappy. As in any situation, your reaction determines whether the event is stressful for you or not. It is the same with happiness.

If upon waking each morning, you state strongly to yourself, “I am happy today”, then you will be. Whenever you encounter stress, just mentally reaffirm, “I am happy today”, the stress will be there, but your reaction will be minimal.

That person who always wears a smile and has a skip in his step, seldom experiences stress the same way you do. She is happy, and being happy allows the stress to roll of her back better.

So, make your determination every morning.

Intend to be happy. Tape affirmations that say, “I am happy today” all over your home and at work.

Say it aloud to yourself often throughout the day, especially on those days with many stressors. Continue to say it, until you believe it.  Act as if.

Then, put a smile on your face and confront the outside world. When you are happy, you have the world in your hands!

To bring joy back into your life

KEEP CONNECTED:

Perhaps in your rush to get everything done and stay on top of it all, you’ve forgotten to stay connected to your friends and family.

Even scientific studies have agreed that happy people have good relationships, so if you’re feeling in a funk why not call a friend, go for a coffee or arrange some down time with your husband or children? The interaction can give you an energy boost and help you set priorities that really bring you joy.

REMIND YOURSELF ABOUT THE GOOD:

It may sound redundant, but taking time to think about what IS good in your life can really increase your happiness.

Are you feeling down about something at work or how you’ve been dealing with your kids? Combat those feelings by consciously thinking about what you’ve done RIGHT. While acknowledging where you can improve is good for you, beating yourself up about mistakes or unfairness will only break your spirit.

GET A HOBBY:

Sometimes all we need is a little diversion to bring happiness back into our life. Challenging yourself and enriching your life with interests outside of your daily routine can bring back a zest that may have been missing.

DO SOMETHING FOR SOMEONE ELSE:

It’s easy to become absorbed with your own problems and disappointments, but simply looking beyond your immediate surroundings and seeing where you can help others can bring great feelings of satisfaction and joy.

You don’t have to do much - holding the door for someone, bringing your co-worker a coffee or picking up groceries for an elderly neighbor can fuel your ‘feel good’ chemicals and remind you that happiness comes from our own attitudes and actions.

If despite your efforts you feel that your lack of enjoyment in life may be linked to more serious conditions such as depression or anxiety disorders, please consult your physician about necessary steps you must take to get back on track.

SIMPLY DARE TO BE HAPPY… FOR NO PARTICULAR REASON!

Posted by Francine | Filed Under Blog, Francine Shares 

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